fears of losing you
by SapphireYaoiCollector
Summary: When Hibari and Gokudera get ambushed on a mission feelings are shared for the first time. Extreme angst! OOC hibari! HibariXGokudera, TYL, Swearing.


_It was simple, really. I had been too blind to see the signals he had been sending me. Instead, at that moment, I was thinking about how angry I had been with him; when i caught the look in his eyes, only then did I realize far too late that something was horribly wrong. And then, just like that, he was gone. I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. He was right there beside me one moment, and then the next, he was gone. _

_Two hours earlier,_

_It had been a long day- Hayato and I had just been sent out on a pointless mission to collect information. If not for Hayato's insistence that I accept, I would have remained home, enjoying my time at NAMI middle reviewing the newest management. As though this was not bad enough some woman on the flight decided to begin flirting with my lover- and the fool actually talked to her. So, obviously, I was more than a bit upset with Hayato at the moment._

We received a call just after we got a taxi, Hayato was still confused as to why I was annoyed, and that only fueled the fires of my anger. When he answered the phone I nearly broke it- simply for the fact that I needed to take my anger out on something.

This is, until Hayato's expression took on a panicked look, and then, before I could ask what had happened, another car rammed into the cab and sent us both flying. It was a battle from that moment on.

The enemy had been annoyingly hard to bite to death- Hayato and I had both ended up in the inn near by, fending off attackers. I was still upset with him, so I barely kept my eyes on his fighting form today- I focused on biting them to death- letting them feel my annoyance. Every now and then I would catch Hayato looking at me, there was something in his eyes, but I didn't bother to see it. And then, just like a bolt of lightening, one of the men behind me pulled a gun I had not seen, the other men around me grabbing onto me and holding me down long enough for him to get a good angle, and then, he fired and my world crumbled.

Hayato took the bullet for me, he jumped foolishly between us just before it would have made contact- taking the hit directly to the heart. I dont recall how I got free, only the anger- the fear of losing him- the sight and sounds around me blurred and I slaughtered all who approached me until no one was left. Only then did I hear him calling for me, and I ran to him, grasping him as tightly as I could while I applied pressure to the bleeding.

"Sorry, Kyouya. I didn't mean to piss you off before- just- I dont know, I-I wanted to see you show you care for me, just once." he gasped out, as though that was the most important thing in the world, as though he had to tell me. I stared at him in shock, when had I ever not shown I loved him?

I held his eyes in mine- and realized that I had not showed him- not really. Physically, I have, many times, but never have I uttered the words he no doubt wanted to hear.

"I love you, Kyouya. Tell the tenth im sorry- I really fucked up this time."

I looked down at his body, he was shaking, blood now pooling around his body, he was dying. No! He can't die! I shouted to myself, my horror soon spewing from my mouth as I looked down at him, helpless and unable to save him.

"You can't do this Hayato! Your mine! Only I can say when you die and it wont be today! Got it?" I shouted, hot liquid staining my cheeks, I could do nothing- nothing at all to control myself, or the situation before me.

He looked shocked for a moment, and then he smiled. The real, bright smile he only showed me a handful of times, and reached up to touch my face.

"Heh, since when did I say id listen to you?" he rasped, his voice breaking by the end of it.

I held his hand to my face, looking sternly at him as I spoke.

"The first time we made love- you became mine. Wasn't that obvious?" His smile widened and then he coughed, blood leaving his perfect lips. _NO!_

I could hear the sirens now- stopping in front of the inn and the sound of foot steps rushing into the building. I took my eyes from Hayato's face long enough to make sure the paramedics saw us before I turned back to him.

"I don;t think I'll make it, Kyouya. Sorry." he said, just as the medics arrived

I yelled at him now, losing all form of composure in my fear.

"Don't you dare say that!" The medics started working on him then, and then he gasped and his face froze. They pulled out their heart monitor, shocked him over and over again, and I could only watch as he left me.

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Three months later.

The hospital room was still the same- the flowers -always red and purple- sat in the vase beside the lone hospital bed. The monitors hung on the walls, the smell of disinfectant and decay still sweeping over the room. It had been three long months since that day in the inn. Hayato had been in a coma for the last two months. I never left his side- not until he awoke one morning as though nothing had happened.

I had held him as close as I could- locked eyes with his own, and told him in words for the first time that I loved him.

It had been a month of recovery and physical therapy before he was able to be released, I watched him as he moved about the hospital room now, his hair pulled back into a pony tail, green eyes full of life and his usual annoyance as he stuffed gifts, cards, and medications into the large bag I brought him. He saw me staring and smirked up at me from his position on the floor.

"See something you like?" I nodded at him and reached down- pulling him to his feet by the elbow before crushing my lips to his.

He was mine, he always would be. And I would never allow him to leave my said, not ever again.

**OK- so I was totally going to write Gokudera off- but I loves him sooooooooooooooooooooooo much that there was just no way of doing it! **

**I also know that this was a very OOC Hibari, but I wanted him to be really upset and angsty and afraid, because that was the whole point of the story... so anyway, I hope you guys liked it. **


End file.
